Billing information
Ring name(s) Baby
Height 39 in.
Weight 7 ½ lb.
Born {{{born}}}
Hometown Flag of the People's Republic of China Made in China
Theme music "Pretty Fly" by The Offspring
Federation(s) Full Metal Wrestling
Brand(s) {{{brand}}}
Previous federations
Wrestling information
Alignment Upright or Folded
Wrestling style Ultraviolent
Finisher(s) {{{finisher}}}
Will • Adjust for easy seating
• Turn on Jack Boice
• Hurt
Won't • Be comfortable
• Talk
Trainer Jack Boice
Professional career
Debut October 24, 2007 (Ultimatum)
Record 0-2

Baby is a steel chair that was made in China, affectionately named by Jack Boice. Boice and Baby compete for Full Metal Wrestling on its Anarchy brand.


New Era Wrestling

Give It To Me Baby

In October 2007, Jack Boice signed with Full Metal Wrestling with dreams of winning the FMW Ultraviolent Championship. Boice made his in-ring debut on October 24, 2007, during the opening match of the Ultimatum pre-show. Boice participated in a 16-man Battle Royal, where Boice's romantic relationship with a steel chair became publicly known. Affectionately naming the chair Baby, Boice brought his lover chair into the ring on several occasions, using "her" to generate much of his offense. Boice won the match after using Baby to connect a Pacifier on VanGuard, then eliminated him by throwing him over the top rope to gain the debut victory.

Boice was expected to compete in FMW's developmental territory, New Era Wrestling (NEW). But after the Original Sin's shocking formation at the conclusion of Ultimatum, FMW owner and Original Sin mastermind Jaro announced that NEW would fold, with all NEW stars being drafted to one of FMW's three unique brands; Alchemy, Anarchy, and the newly formed Anxiety. During the Underground Rookie Draft, Boice was drafted by Anarchy with the second overall pick. Later in the night, Boice would lose to the first overall pick, Anxiety's Skyler Striker in a triple threat match that also involved Alchemy's first overall pick, Shoop.

It wasn't long until FMW fans began to cheer the bizarre relationship that Boice and Baby had for each other. The cheers of the fans also made Boice an enemy of Original Sin, and their plans of federation supremacy. It wasn't long until Boice and Baby sided with The Resistance.

FMW Anarchy

Feud versus Christian G. Smitten

Boice made his Anarchy debut at 6.2 when he interrupted Original Sin's attorney-at-law, Christian G. Smitten, who was addressing the status of his Gold Card that he won at Ultimatum. In front of his seven-year-old daughter Kelsey, Boice beat Smitten out of the ring, then began humping Baby in the middle of the ring. Outraged at such vulgar behavior (especially in front of his daughter), Smitten vowed to outlaw man-on-chair relationships in FMW.

Despite being an inanimate object, Baby was forced into a match against Kelsey at Anarchy 6.3. Kelsey opened the contest trying to fold Baby, but the 7 ½-pound weight of Kelsey was too much, with Baby scoring a quick near-fall before Christian broke up the pin attempt. Despite Kelsey's troubles, she was successful in defeating Baby.

At Death Row, Boice and Baby officially teamed-up to face C.G. and Kelsey Smitten in an intergender tag team match. Despite Boice and Baby's ultraviolent offense, Smitten dashed Boice's dreams of marrying Baby in an FMW ring when Smitten pinned Boice after hitting the Gavel Drop, effectively banning Baby from FMW forever.

With Baby banned from FMW, Boice's schizophrenic conversations with Baby outside of wrestling turned for the worse. Before a one-on-one Ultraviolent Championship opportunity against Jaro, Baby dumped Boice and left him for nothing.

Mr. Happy Gets Upset

While urinating in the men's restroom, Boice's penis began to converse with him. Calling himself Mr. Happy, his Gilbert Gottfried-like voice gave Boice valuable career advice and told him to turn his challenges into opportunities. Taking Mr. Happy's wisdom to heart, Boice picked up his first win in eight months after defeating Janus Flare at Anarchy 6.3 to qualify for the Mount Vesuvius Match.

During the match, Original Sin co-founder and Anarchy general manager Saint Michael Dreamkiller came out to the ring with X, his FMW Television Championship pet. Dreamkiller revealed that he captured Baby. After Boice foiled Dreamkiller's plans for the night, Dreamkiller granted Boice a shot at X's Television Championship at Supremacy, giving him the chance to win Baby back. But lose, and Baby would be melted into a padlock for X's cage. The strategy by Dreamkiller proved fatal, as Boice was able to grab Baby and hit the Pacifier on X, then pinning him to become the new FMW Television Champion.

In wrestling

  • Moveset with Jack Boice
    • Pacifier (Boice tosses Baby to kneeling opponent, who catches Baby, then gets a Shining Wizard kamikaze dropkick to the kisser)
    • Googoo Gaga (While opponent is kneeling or dazed, Boice directs a horizontally folded Baby with her bottom rung into opponent's jugular or face. Boice will then kamikaze dropkick his feet into the top of the chair, forcing the bottom rung of the chair to guillotine opponent's neck of throat)
    • Rock-A-Bye Baby (Sits opponent on Baby, then Boice STOs opponent with Baby as a cushion)
    • Guillotine (Sticks the top edge of Baby to throat of opponent, then Boice slams opponent's head down so that Baby hits the ground while guillotining opponent’s throat against the top edge of Baby)
    • Temper Tantrum (Springboard Lionsault from the middle rope, where Boice uses Baby to land his knees into the gut of the opponent)
    • Eye-poke using one of Baby's feet
    • Chair shots
  • Nickname
    • The Weapon of Mass Seduction

Match history

Result Record Winner(s) Loser(s) Event Date Notes Score
zLoss 0-2 C.G. and Kelsey Smitten Jack Boice and Baby Death Row 19 March 2008 Intergender tag team match 8.48
zLoss 0-1 Kelsey Smitten Baby Anarchy 5.4 21 February 2008 Singles match N/A
Promo score is a rating which ranges from 0.0 to 10.0, the latter being the highest. Promos are judged to determine the better promo between e-wrestling competitors.

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