Career[]
McWilson (Pronounced: Mick Wilson, but spelled like "McDonalds") | |
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[[Image:{{{image}}}|{{{image_width}}}px|Image of McWilson (Pronounced: Mick Wilson, but spelled like "McDonalds")]] | |
Statistics | |
Real name | {{{realname}}} |
Ring Names | {{{names}}} |
Height | 6 ft 1 in (waist) |
Weight | 595 lb |
Date of birth | 5th October, 1971 |
Place of birth | Milk Shake machine, McDonalds |
Date of death | {{{death_date}}} |
Place of death | {{{death_place}}} |
Resides | BURGAH KING |
Billed from | {{{billed_from}}} |
Trainer | Pappa PAI |
Current federation(s) |
XWA |
Previous federation(s) |
Extreme World Wrestling |
Handled by | Orlando Jordan |
Win/Loss Record | {{{winloss_record}}} |
Debut | 11th August, 1989 |
Retired | {{{retired}}} |
Career[]
PENIS PENIS IN HIS MOUS
A large power wrestler. Mick Wilson was a former Sumo wrestler who worked in Japan for over 8 years before being banned from the sport disgracefully after failing a drug test for illegal substances (rumoured to be steroid-glazed donut).
Over the past 3 years Mick Wilson has converted his sumo wrestling ability into pro wrestling across North America and has already won a world title belt, the Super-duper Heavyweight Championship (of course he was awarded this by default as he is the only Super-duper Heavyweight on earth).
Wilson's slow, sluggish, hard knock style has been compared to that of Mark Henry, who unknown to most is Wilson's black half brother.
A fan favourite Wilson's fans are known as "Pai's" and Wilson looks to have a promising future and could be signing a contract with Vince Mcmahon sooner rather than later.
Wilson also claims to be the innovator of the Hell in a Cell in a Field with his legendary match with Scottish Stinger under the name of the Hard-Ass Kay.
He trained on a grassy knoll near his house with special friend Barry to become the legendary wrestler he is today. His most famous matches were staged here and it has become a place of pilgrimage for his Pai's.
In early 2008, he made a comeback in TNA alongside Mark Henry as Team Fa-D, a parodical version of Team 3-D. The pair engaged in a feud with them culminating in a pie on a pole match which was won by Brother D-Von when he jumped on the trampoline-like gut of Wilson to reach the pie.
Wilson is currently out of action with a pie related injury and is slated to return in September.
After two years absence, Wilson has returned to the wrestling business wrestling in Ring of Honor under new ringname, "Mick "McDonalds" McDermott". He has since then gained 250 pounds, and is tag teaming with Hornswoggle.
After two weeks, McDermott ate Hornswoggle, after thinking it was a moving Quesadilla. He has been since sent to rehab in his native Ireland.
Other Facts[]
It is rumoured his contract is worth 4000 burgers a week, a wage which is higher than that of WWE Superstar Mark Henry (Wilson's half brother), who only gets 2500 burgers a week plus fries for PPV events.
He is also rumoured to have had a brief affair with The Hamburglar whom was never seen after their triste in an LA McDonalds in 1997.
He also had a brief singing career as "Rik Waller", but after the 1987 Pie Massacre[Citation needed]he retired to follow a career in sumo wrestling.
Wrestling Facts[]
Mysterious Stranger Perhaps most intriguing about Pai Wilson, is his masked friend who has Helped Mick many-a-time, hiding his identity from the world.
Finishers[]
Obese-ta Bomb (Powerbomb followed by Chins to the face)
PaiToYou (Standing Senton)
The Great Wall of Pai (Forearm to Face)
R K Cookie Dough (similar to Orton's RKO but slower and fatter) View here: http://youtube.com/watch?v=6uaeBTPJXMo
Pass The Gravy (Mick takes a McDump on his opponent, and then eats it up and melts it in his mouth and then spits it on his opponents. He botches this move a lot since he just usually swallows.)
Managers[]
Ronald McDonald
The Hamburglar (Deceased)
Colonel Sanders
Tag Team Partners/Allies[]
Scottish Stinger Barry Scot - 1989-93
The Hamburglar - 1993-1997
Scott "JT Mac" - 1997-2004
Photoshop CS2 - 1991–present
The Burger King - May 2001
Mysterious Stranger - 1992-2006
Mark Henry (as Team Fa-D) - 2008–present
Previous Gimmicks[]
Umaga
Mark Henry
Free Willy
Rik Waller
Big Daddy M
Million Pai Man
Hard-Ass Kay
Blubber Ray Pudgely
HIS ONE WEAKNESS[]
Many men have travelled the world, trying to find a weakness in Pai Wilson. Only one is known, but only in Urban Legend. Legend says, if you rate one of his craptastic sigs "High Nov." the beast will cry, and drown in his own tears.
Nicknames[]
"Ronald MickDonald"
"Man-Pai"
"The Real BurgerKing"
"Pai Wilson"
Also played Fake Yokozuna for a short while after his death
Theme Music[]
The Fast Food Song
Food Glorious Food (Tim Westwood Remix)
Rock 'n' Roll McDonalds
Outside of Wrestling[]
When not in the ring, Mick Wilson enjoys competing in various eating competitions, and holds multiple world records, including being the only man to date to stomach an 8 course Delia Smith meal. Wilson also holds the current body fat % record, his body being made up of a staggering 234% body fat.
In 2004, he was involved in the infamous documentary Super Size Me as an "after" actor. His role was lauded as one of the best performances of a man of his stature, even winning "Best Performance By A Male Fatty" at the Chubby Movie Awards beating out Michael Moore and Jack Black for their roles in Fahrenheit 9/11 and School Of Rock respectively.
He also has a tattoo on his right buttock of a pie. He is often asked why he has a tattoo like this, his response is always the same - "I like pie."
Wilson has suffered multiple back injuries throughout the duration of his career, the most recent being a severe back strain and several slipped disks after Wilson attempted to eat his own ass at a televised event when he noticed the fading pie tattoo. Wilson put this embarrassing occurrence down to "Short Term Memory Loss"
Personal life[]
When Mick Wilson was born in a Glasgow McDonald's, doctors claimed that Wilson actually ate through the stomach of his mother in what was described as "That Alien scene in Alien. Except fatter. And uglier." His parents disowned him and he was put up for adoption. With no willing parents, he was left in the self-same McDonald's he was born in where he was raised by the Hamburglar. It is reported that Jade Goody and Mr Blobby are his real parents but this has yet to be confirmed or denied by all three parties.
Mick was in China at the time of the devastating earthquake in early 2008. He strongly denies being responsible.
Controversy[]
Wilson has stirred up a lot of controversy in his career, the majority of them in the more recent years.
Earlier this year he had a confrontation with Joe Pasquale which resulted in three tonnes of pies being thrown at each other. At the end of the confrontation, no pie was left in the room and Wilson appeared to have increased in size, whilst Pasquale's voice seemed oddly lower, many believing Wilson ate Pasquale's balls during the struggle.
In 2005, Wilson was arrested by US customs for drugs smuggling after 4000 kilos of Marijuana were found in his many folds of fat. He was also charged for people smuggling when a young Asian woman was found stuck in his asscrack, whome he had sat on at Glasgow Airport.
Mick Wilson commonly acknowledges that he as beaten anorexia, 789 times.
Mick Wilson was caught masturbating to Delia Smith's Home Cooking in a New York Hotel in late 2006. The scandal lead to his release from BKWE. Police investigated his house and found hundreds of DVDs of Nigella Lawson, Gordon Ramsay and Ready Steady Cook
Recently Mick Wilson went into surgery to repair a broken rib he suffered in a match whilst on tour. During surgery the 112 doctors working on Wilsons large body discovered the cure for cancer inside one of his rolls. It is being debated whether the cure should be pursued from Wilsons body as it would take at least 14 men to get inside the roll of fat and the possibility of them all coming back alive is slim.
In late 2004, Mick Wilson was involved in one of the largest racism scandals in recent history when Wilson assaulted a black male and proceeded to bite off his leg shouting "I love Chocolate Men!" between mouthfuls. He was arrested for assault and sentenced to 3 months community service at an infant school in Norfolk.