|"Pretty Boy" Bobby Six|
|Image of "Pretty Boy" Bobby Six|
|Date of birth||Aug 12, 1987|
|Place of birth||Funkytown|
|Date of death|
|Place of death|
"Pretty Boy" Bobby Six was born in a small town called Funkytown in August 12, 1987. To this day, it's still unknown where exactly 'Funkytown' is located and if the birth date given is in fact a true date of birth. He is of a Hispanic descent, but this too, is also unknown to be fact or fiction. Ever since the death of TPW, TcW and it's sister promotion ETW, Bobby Six has been seen making few appearances until ultimately being knocked off the radar. No one has seen or heard of him since.
This is the life of Bobby Six, explained by Bobby Six:
"This is how my story began! I was walking down a pleasant street of the most BEAUTIFUL people on earth! Where else but Hollywood where the United States VERY OWN BEAUTIFUL people roam. Except for those pesky tourist who do nothing BUT take pictures of us... what else? BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE! Actually... that day I think I had my most pictures taken. What was I wearing? Oh yeah, the Dolce and Gabbana sunglasses with the nice eagle fur coat that... oh yeah. It wasn't that day. Those fucking retarded, "killing animals is cruel man" hippy types soaked me with cow blood. How rude! But... that's when I got discovered from this place, because I kicked all their asses! Did I mention I did all that WHILE looking BEAUTIFUL? Anyway... I guess you want to know a little about my life. Well... here you go:
I was told by the doctor that my birth was like no other. Of course, he was implying that I'm one in a million. Actually... let's make that ONE OF A KIND! Well... once I walked out of my mothers vagina I had the looks of a mature 3 year old. Stunning and glamorous! All the female doctors would take a look at my 3 cm cock which was really big for my age, and would wonder how fun it'd be to ride such a monster. I had all that slime and goo trickle down my premature 6 pack and would stand there till my male slaves of pure uglyness would rub my body down with a nice silky towel. My mother wasn't bearable with her messy hair and tears *YUCK* so I threw her to the curve to find a more satisfying mother who'd fit my looks. I'd also get a new father who'd actually be willing to be there for me.
By the time I turned 3 I was picking up girls that were in 1st Grade! I KNOW! AWESOME! When it would be nap time and the teachers would turn off the light the girl(s) and I would exchange sparkly stickers and kiss each other in the cheek. At that age... that was 3rd base! Reaching home was the hardest... reaching home was actually telling the girl you liked her. I never reached home though. My friend Freddy did and he was never the same. You know, sat with the girl all the time. Didn't share his chocolate milk... didn't outline a picture before coloring it... you know... crazy stuff.
When I was 4 and 5 it was more like the Dark Age. I can't remember. I was probably blinded by crowd of ugly people. When I was 6 in the 1st grade I wasn't focused on girls like I was on fashion. The boys didn't know what gay was yet except for one boy who was trailer trash and knew every bad word in the dictionary like suck and ass! But the other boys didn't pay much attention, at that age little kids didn't care what you looked like. I did though. I only had friends that were at least decent looking.
5th grade was THE WORST! When you're 10 and all the boys start liking girls and stuff, and actually know what the word gay means it just never stopped. It was cool though, like some of the girls I was in a clique with only the best looking boys. And if they wore something that wasn't made out of polyester or cotton, we'd boot them out. All the girls LOVED US! The bullies envied us and threw us in the trashcan which was fine because before they'd do it, we'd switch a dirty shirt on with a clean one, we were thinking all the time. Let's skip a bit to the eighth grade where I got my first handjob and fingered a good looking girl. She was in the 10th grade and was perfect. She mentioned something about me sticking something in her and I thought she was some sort of satanist and I ran out the house.
I finally realized what she meant and we did it. Now that I look back at that moment, ignorance was bliss. Afterward she'd introduce me to her friends and I'd do them too! I made it big... especially since my penis grew from when I was a baby. I left my friends for all the girls. 9th grade it was still going on! And 10th... 11th AND 12TH!! When I left high school this is when all the real action actually began! See... this is what happened
I tried out to be a male model once but I'd never do it again. My coach told me to stick my finger down my throat and I sued his ass for sexual harassment. I went in the bathroom once and heard a couple guys gagging in the toilet. I didn't even want to know what it was all about. I just went about my day until one day I asked one of the guys what he was doing and he told me IN HIS EXACT WORDS, "Honey, in this business either you're fat... or you're fat! The only way to be skinny, is to make yourself throw up and pray to God the scouters don't see any flab. If they do, just throw up some more and you'll probably be in!"
What did throwing up have to do with anything, I have no idea. But I left as soon as possible because making myself throw up would've messed up my nails. I spiraled into the wrong crowd, and by wrong I mean right! I used to do lines of cocaine like nobodies business. Look, I'm not glorifying drugs in the slightest bit, but I got more ass when I was high then I did when I wasn't! Take my word for it, these women were bombshells. When you make it to where I've made it, you're surrounded by nothing BUT bombshells.
I lived off my mother and fathers money because they were loaded! Eventually I wanted cash to call my own, though. While walking the streets I noticed a sign looking for amateur wrestlers with the face of an old friend of mine(DDanger). Made the call and got an agent. Now, at age 21, I do whatever I want. And live wherever I want. I've learned to use my looks to my advantage.
ETW! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S IN STORE FOR YOU!"
There have been rumors that, despite how untrue this may seem, there's a bit of truth hidden in this wall of text. Though, that is for another day.
Truthfully, Bobby Sixes feats are forever lost. It's rumored that his final record stands at either 2-0 or 2-1, with a win or Shane Haven. Everything else has is lost. A play-by-play was recovered with his match with Shane Haven, told by Bobby Six.
"This is my, Bobby Six, play by play of my match with the disgusting looking Shane Haven! Well, not much of a play by play but more of me describing how I PULVERIZED that man! So there's no need to rewind to the past because I'll give you a perfect visual of what exactly happened. I, Bobby Six, *smiles* never lies!
When that ugly person(what's his name again?) came out the ugly crowd began to boo! THEY HATED HIM! Enough about him. My music BLASTED throughout the arena and every single worthless piece of shit that wasted their money to see me BOWED down at the sight of Bobby Six. The men envied while the ladies stood there in pure agonizing pain because they couldn't reach such a sexy beast such as myself. Even the ref couldn't keep his hands off of me! He said he was checking if I was concealing a weapon, which I was! A six pack of rock hard abs, 2 big guns and a package that'd satisfy a whale! Anywho, when the match started I was in the lead. My fans were behind me the whole time. I would pull off some insane stunts such as a Lui Kang kick from the classic video game Mortal Kombat. Or even a standing triple back flip! Again! No need for the replay! I NEVER LIE! One thing lead to another and I stand over him with my hand raised. Without breaking a sweat by the way. I'm too perfect for that! Anyway I'm done here. Don't like to waste too much time for the fans. They're not worth it, I have a photo shoot! So until my next match, attempt to look decent you fucking hillbillies!
This was also recovered which doesn't leave much in terms of answers:
I can't get myself to actually remember who exactly I faced for a second time. Hell, I didn't even document it after it happened. Must have not been all that important! What I do know is this, I partied like it was 1985 because... well that's just what I do after I win impressively. Anyway, I can't get myself to remember if I had a 3rd and 4th fight, I just remember there were two! Shit, if partying weren't so fun we wouldn't be in such a dilemma now would we you ugly fucks!? This is somehow everyones, accept my own, FAULT! I hope you're happy!
This description fits the profile from when he was last seen:
"He has short, short hair to the point where it's almost bald. Pretty boy face. No facial hair and a perfect chin structure. Very fit with a 6 pack. NOT A BIG GUY! Although he is muscular he is no Bobby Lashley or Lesnar. Resembles John Morrison."
Today, there's no telling how he looks.
Snap Jab Dropkick Elbow Smash Kick To Gut Roundhouse Kick Snap Jab Enzuigiri
European Uppercut Back Club Arm Wringer Flip Side Kick Knee Strike Step Up Enzuigiri Mat Slam Backbreaker Neckbreaker Crucifix Pin Russian Leg Sweep Snap Suplex
Grapple from behind
Russian Leg Sweep School Boy Pin Forearm Smash Back Suplex
Sexy Sixes Cat Walk
FUN FACTS YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT BOBBY!
♦ JBL is actually Bobby's second cousin! ♦ Bobby has a hidden secret that he doesn't even know about! ♦ Bobby is straight... really! No... REALLY! ♦ His REAL mother now lives a happy life knowing her son is successful. ♦ His REAL father still doesn't give a shit. ♦ Bobby's childhood girlfriend was a model(They were 17 at the time). ♦ Bobby left her 8 to 9 months later after she got fat.