Life's Just Peachy

OIL TV owner J.R. Ewing was so impressed with Katie Peachy's appearances on Leftwich Knows Best, that he offered her her own daily talk show. Unfortunately, she doesn't have a lot to say, so her portion of the show runs for 5 minutes each evening at 10:55, just prior to the Dallas Cowboys Football Evening Update. The show actually comes on at 10:30 and features two wrestling matches taped at WNWA house shows or at special events at Braddock County Public Library.

Peachy performs wearing a variety of glamorous and/or skimpy outfits, and offers insights she has gleaned during the day. This show is one of the highest-rated programs on OIL TV, other than the wrestling matches themselves.

Every Friday, Peachy witnesses for Jesus from poolside while wearing a bikini. Many a male fan has been overheard on Fridays to say "Thank God for Katie Peachy."

After some complaints by network exceutives, Life is Peachy has been expanded to include at least two taped matches from WNWA house shows during each episode. Ocassionally, the show will feature live wrestling bouts.

Episode Highlights

 * May 3 - Katie learns about kosher food, which she previously thought meant serving very nice pickles to your guests. fATAS def. Rowdy Brown and Amos Beiler def. Jacob Schmucker by DQ when Samuel Yoder interfered.
 * May 4 - Katie witnesses for Jesus by naming all the unsaved souls in the WNWA who are on her prayer list. She includes Jabberjaw and The Guardian on this list, because they are "Catholic and not Christian." Samuel Yoder def. Shamookey Sanders and Da Brothas def. The Nasty Neocons.
 * May 9 - Katie tells of an interesting business offer she received today from a Nigerian lawyer who has seen her show and is a big fan. Sam Bash def. CityD and "Richard Nixon" def. Billy Bell.
 * May 10 - Katie is amazed to learn that Steve Grant is gay. She ostentatiously adds his name to her Lost Souls Prayer List. Ass Butte def. Poor Matt Skills and Samuel Yoder def. Tony Fanuci.
 * May 11 - Katie invites newly ordained minister Rev. Dr. Curtis Lowe onto her Friday show to help her witness for Jesus. On this night, Lowe seems to have more interest in Katie's cleavage and in casing Leftwich's estate for security cameras than he does in talking about Jesus. Antonio Davis def. The Nigerian Nightmare after interference from The Lummox and The Insiders def. Bell Brothers.
 * May 15 - As a public service, Katie encourages her viewers to send in their taxes, because she believes May 15 is tax day. Seamus Street and Kevin Knox def. The Restoration and Prince Charming def. Erich Edwards.
 * May 17 - Katie continues to be very excited about business opportunities between herself and the Nigerian attorney. Rowdy Brown def. Mike Milligan and The Liberal Librarian def. Tony Fanuci.
 * May 21 - Katie excitedly announces that she has a date for this Saturday night with Hampton. She thinks he is a nice, well-brought-up guy. Del Rey Preddy def. Eustus Fraley and Dale Taylor def. Bob-Oh Wheir.
 * May 23 - Katie talks about being in charge of RSD now, and says her first order of business is to have her workers paint the library pink, peach, and purple to make it feel more friendly. She doesn't like genealogy, and is putting the dirty bearded guy in there with the smelly oldsters.  She doesn't know what happened to the other dirty bearded guy, but assumes he must be down in maintenance helping Ernest. Da Brothas def. The Vagrants by DQ when The Lummox interfered. The Lummox def. Cletus Vaughan and Delbert Johnson.
 * May 24 - Katie complains that it's hard being in charge of things at work. One of her workers, Jabberjaw, didn't come in, and didn't call in sick either until about 2:30 in the afternoon, which Katie thinks is pretty late.  She says Jabberjaw was "calling from some kind of farm.  I guess she's at a fat farm.  She's a really big girl." Rabbi Rage def. Rowdy Brown and [{Captain Redneck]] def. Hampton.
 * May 29 - Katie discusses her Memorial Day holiday at the lake with Hampton. She says he is getting baptized on her show, in Leftwich's pool, this Friday.  She has asked Rev. Dr. Curtis Lowe to do the honors. She also recaps Memorial Day Massacre. The Lummox def. CityD and Metro def. Lo Hung Schlong.

Special Expanded Episode: The Baptism of Hampton



 * Katie Peachy arrived at Leftwich's house early as usual, so that she could prepare for her show, which would feature the baptism of her boyfriend, Hampton, by the Rev. Dr. Curtis Lowe. Katie went into the cabana that Leftwich had set up as a dressing room for her, and changed into a white robe since she would be going into the water as Hampton’s sponsor.  As usual, Leon Sky was hiding in the bushes and peeking in the window of the cabana, but nobody noticed him.  Leftwich filmed Katie emerging from the cabana, and almost fell into the pool at the sight of her.




 * Curtis Lowe arrived, wearing his ministerial robes, and proceeded to loudly bless the water in the baptismal pool - at length.

Lowe had arranged for some friends to quietly rob Leftwich while all the preaching and filming was going on out back at the pool. Eugene Washington posed as a yard man, and kept watch by the mailbox while Antonio Davis and Tyrone Jefferson went in through Leftwich’s open garage door.






 * Katie had told Hampton to wear a white robe to be baptized in, but Hampton was not a robe-owning kind of guy. He told his neighbor Triple K that Rev. Lowe was going to baptize him, and Triple K said he had a robe that many members of his family had worn.   He said Hampton could borrow the robe for this important occasion.  Hampton got dressed and was impressed with his fancy robe.  His buddy Bob-Oh Wheir came along, wanting to be on TV and see if Katie had a friend she could set him up with.  When Hampton and Bob-Oh arrived at Leftwich’s place he kissed Katie and greeted Lowe, yelling “Yo Rev!”




 * Meanwhile, Triple K had called his buddies to come watch all the fun. Dale Taylor, Eustus Fraley, and Captain Redneck had been drinking all day to celebrate their release from the Braddock County Prison Farm, and they were in the mood for a party.  Redneck was particularly pleased that his ex-wife’s Boy Wonder was in for a beatdown on national TV.  They all piled into Triple K’s truck and headed over to Leftwich’s place, menacing Braddock motorists all the way.



All hell broke loose at Leftwich's pool. Lowe dove for Hampton and the two crashed into the pool, each trying to drown the other. Hampton quickly got the upper hand due to Lowe’s inability to swim. Leftwich became alarmed at the possiblity of Lowe actually dying on his property. Leftwich attempted to drag Lowe out of the water, but Hampton and Bob-Oh both started beating on him.

Leftwich’s security alarm finally went off when Tyrone Jefferson broke into the wall safe. As the sirens blared, Jefferson, Washington, and Da Crunk ran off, each carrying as much loot as possible. Police sirens wailed as Sheriff Washburn and his men were summoned by Leftwich's alarm.

In the midst of the uproar, Leon Sky quietly kidnapped Katie Peachy.

Captain Redneck and his buddies got there just seconds before Washburn arrived, disappointed that they didn't have a chance to join in the fight. Redneck told the Sheriff that they had seen some black guys run around to the back of the house, along with a guy in a KKK suit. Lowe was subsequently dragged from the water and arrested. The sheriff found Da Crunk two blocks away trying to carry a plasma TV and arrested him too. Hampton was put on probation and released to go home.

Leftwich’s house was trashed – inside and out.

No one noticed Katie Peachy was missing.

Two live matches: Metro def. The Guardian after the Want Some Candy? followed by the Pedopile and Captain Redneck def. Lord Shaftsbury by DQ after interference by Sir Neville Chamberlain.