Jabbajaw

Jabberjaw, aka "Jabber the Hut," aka "Jaw," is an American female wrestler and librarian managed by GM Luke Leftwich. Jabberjaw was recruited by Leftwich in 2007 and wrestles in the WNWA.

History
Jabberjaw is the star of Leftwich's new stable of female wrestlers, right now being his only female wrestler. He recruited her after a failed attempt to get Ms. Shitifa to give up managing and wrestle full-time for him. Shitifa declined and brutally beat down Leftwich.

Named for her unceasing, breathless chatter during all matches, Jabberjaw is a true super heavyweight, often intimidating opponents with her size and ability to position herself in the right place at the right time. As a matter of fact, she outweighs more than 80% of the WNWA roster. Leftwich has trained her well in execution of one of his signature moves, the butt-kiss.

So far Jabberjaw has mostly shown up in interviews and at ringside to talk trash and provoke opponents. Leftwich is considering pitting her against CityD, as these two have taken an immediate dislike to each other.

When wrestling a male oppenent, Jabberjaw frequently fakes an injury, screaming in pain and declaring that her opponent is cheating/using a weapon/etc. Since she mainly wrestles "good guys," they leap back and apologize, and Jabberjaw then trips them and sits on them, winning the match. Sometimes she fakes an injury and her creepy stalker fan leaps into the ring to help her double-team her opponent.

Jabberjaw is a keen genealogist and lately has been working closely with Shamookey Sanders to help him find his biological father. She is also doing this as a way to suck up to T. Diana Belle-Little, BCPL Board Member. It is rumored that she has located Shamookey's birth certificate. Curtis Lowe has broken into her home on several occasions in an attempt to find and steal this document.

Sometimes wrestles with The Guardian in tag-team matches, and is currently training Karma to wrestle with her as well. Jabberjaw detests Karma, but feels it is better to embrace a female wrestler who is no threat to Jabberjaw's relationship with Mike Leftwich. Jabberjaw lives in fear that he will hire a nubile female wrestler who will threaten her position as star of his stable. She is insanely jealous of Katie Peachy.

Jabberjaw recently stole a pimped-out shopping cart belonging to Antonio Davis from the library loading dock. She claims she needs a motorized cart due to her heel spur, and that she thought The Scooter Store had delivered this cart to her. When Davis saw her riding his cart, a bitter argument ensued. Just as Davis was about to cut a Y in Jabberjaw, Sheriff Washburn pulled up, having been called by Aaron Whitaker. Whitaker had hoped that Jabberjaw would be arrested for theft, but Jabberjaw told the Sheriff that Davis was attempting to steal her cart. The Sheriff took one look at Jabberjaw's specially designed medical boot and Davis's skin color, completely ignored the rap music blaring from the huge speakers, and immediately arrested Davis for extortion, communicating threats, carrying a concealed weapon, and attempted assault. Davis was sent to the Braddock County Prison Farm.

After an altercation with Metro in the library, Jabberjaw agreed to fight him at Memorial Day Massacre and scored a decisive victory.

Trivia

 * Entrance song is "Baby Got Back" by Sir Mix-a-Lot.


 * Has a creepy, nerdy stalker/fan, known as The Guardian who frequently attends her appearances and matches and has threatened CityD on her behalf. The Guardian wears cardigan sweaters in which he hides various shivs, shanks, knives, staplers, hole punchers, etc. which he uses to assault Jabberjaw's oppenents or anyone who talks trash about her. He sometimes appears to have Down Syndrome. It is alleged this man is her husband, though there is never any affection shown toward the man, so it is uncertain.


 * Is convinced that everyone she works with at the library is having an affair with each other, except for GM Luke Leftwich, whom she is convinced loves her deeply.


 * Lives in a shack in the rough section of town. She does this so she can claim to come from the "mean streets" and have "street cred."  When interviewed, none of her neighbors report ever seeing her after she moved in.  They say she spends all her time peeking out from behind the curtains in her house.


 * Jabberjaw's shack was recently demolished by The Liberal Librarian, who crashed through the walls in his Prius during a foiled political demonstration. The Lib and Jabberjaw are currently embroiled in a feud over whose insurance should pay for the damage.  He wants her to fix his car, and she wants him to build her a new house.  They will probably battle this one out in the ring.

Salary

 * Leftwich pays her in Chili's coupons to keep her weight up. She essentially works for all the Babyback Ribs she can eat, plus a stipend from the WNWA amounting to $16,780 yearly.

Moveset
Finishers
 * The Butt Kiss (Atomic Drop)
 * The Back Stabber
 * The Braddock County Big Butt (Ties opponent in Tree of Woe and runs in smashing her butt into the face of the prone opponent).
 * The Braddock County Big Boot (uses a protective cast to jump from the middle rope with a stomp onto opponent)

Regular moves
 * Chewing an opponent's ear during holds
 * Stroke-like Confusion
 * Feigning an injury

Weaknesses

 * Appears to be attracted to Leftwich and is easily distracted if he talks to someone else, particularly a female. It is unclear how this jealousy will affect Leftwich's plans to build a stable of all-female wrestlers.


 * Calls WNWA headquarters and the Braddock County Public Library to take sick leave every 3 days and informs opponents and co-workers in agonizing detail of her feminine health concerns.


 * Is in a perpetual state of confusion. The confusion is brought on by several syndromes that she suffers from, including hourly mini-strokes. She may have undiagnosed Adult Onset Down Syndreome (AODS).


 * Jabberjaw owns a cell phone but keeps it at work where it rings all the time with wrong numbers or from contractors she has called to work on her shanty. Due to her constant mini-strokes throughout the day, she forgets that she has the cell phone and leaves it at work where he employess make prank calls on it whenever she is not there.


 * Constantly begs Da Crunk, Curtis Lowe, and Da Brothas not to rape her despite their attempts to ignore her presence. Is terrified of Truman Marlin.


 * Wears a specially built protective boot that she uses as a weapon. The boot is supposedly for a heel spur, however she uses it to perform the Braddock County Big Boot and the Local History Leg Drop.


 * Suffers from verbal dyslexia. Often gets words jumbled in sentences and letters jumbled in words.

Images